How to write your own meaningful vows (with prompts)

We’ve all done it, I have done it and you’re doing it now too.  We’ve all googled “how to write meaningful wedding vows.” And the internet has some good answers but even though we follow all the steps something doesn’t feel right. Just generic That’s why I decided to put together a little guide with prompts that might help you find the words that feel like you.

Before you start writing the vows

I want to encourage you to write two versions. Don’t panic and hear me out:

The first version will include every personal detail and moment that comes to your mind when you are going to answer the prompts below that’s the version I encourage you to share in private before the big day. Making it into a date before the wedding when it’s just you and your person gives you the freedom to be intimate and raw with one another.

This way not only will create a memory that will last forever with you but you will also feel more connected and craft sincere vows.

The second version will be based on the first one but will be… audience adjusted, shorter, and less detailed.

The reason why I’m suggesting two versions of your vows is because of the unnecessary pressure. Having a huge audience can make us nervous and disconnected. It’s tough to say what’s too much, and what’s not enough. But having two drafts will give you more freedom to express yourself freely and honestly.

Okay, let’s get to it: the good news is there is no wrong way to write your vows, and stream of consciousness is a great way to start (meaning: just write it ALL down and take it from there).

Meaningful vows shared during elopement in Utah

Here are prompts for writing meaningful vows:

  1. Pick a way to address your person. You can simply use their name or my love, my best friend. 
  1. Pivotal points
  • What brought you together?
  • When did you realize you first loved them?
  • How does that memory make you feel?
  • What is a memory you will never forget with them? (little details are magiiiic)
  • What are the moments you can’t wait for?
  • Think about the things that this relationship taught you?
  • What was life before meeting them?

These are the little moments that may seem obvious to you but that’s what makes you, you.

  1. The promise part. Think about hard times, obstacles, and challenges. 
  • What can you do to show your love in these moments?
  • What will be your guiding star in times when it feels like the world is falling apart?
  • What drives your love?
  • What are some ways you want to commit yourself to your love in these moments? Use such words as I promise, I vow.
  1. You have talked about your partner, and the challenges, now let’s look at your relationship.
  • What makes you two strong together?
  • How do you complement each other?
  • How do they make you feel? Do they make you feel seen, protected, loved? What do you see in their eyes when you wake up in the morning or when you see them after a long day at work? Close your eyes and visualize all the feelings that are flooding your body. And put them into words.
  1. Wrap it with one last promise.

Before you write the vows down I recommend recording yourself. I believe that speaking words before you write them down makes them sound more natural and then you can tweak things that don’t sound like you. And then… Make sure you write them down on a real piece of paper. Your wedding day is going to be stressful enough without forgetting your vows or your phone randomly restarting during the ceremony.

I hope this was helpful 🙂

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